Welcome To The Lawn
Available Recordings
"Amazing Sounds of Shock Theatre"
The Organic Groove Continuum
The Almighty Rogers & The Convulsions
The Big Beef Listening Lounge
Ordering Info
Big Beef Homepage

MEET THE LAWN JOCKEYS!

Here they are! You know 'em (well, actually most of you don't), you love 'em (and you would if you did indeed know them, trust us!), you've just got to have their record!

Amazing

THE LAWN JOCKEYS
(Pictured Left to Right Sitting) Corn Padre Hondo II, Brett Skywalker, Johnny Strange, Dr. Creep, Steve 'Tidy Rabbit' Babbit, Ed 'Lightnin Biscuit' Lightning;
(Kneeling) Dutch Treat, The Punk Rock Physicist
(Not Pictured) Slow Poke East, Grand Masta P, DJ Snapper
(Never Pictured) Tony Miracle

SEE The Lawn Jockeys In Action!
The band performing "Ghoul Train" on live television for a special all-night
'Shock Theatre Movie Marathon!"

Just click here on the appropriate download speed
56k | 128k | 384k
(You must have Real Media Player)

How does one begin to define a sound that cross breeds the beauty of a clear spring Colorado morn, and the ass paralyzing fear that Custer must have felt at the Little Big Horn? Well, take the blinders off and come on down to the Winners Circle my friends, and meet The Lawn Jockeys!


"STEAMIN" LORD CORN PADRE HONDO II

Lead guitar, hi-hat, stun gun baritone six string, conch shell, lead cape. Pesonal Quote: "Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome The Salt Walther Dancers!!!"
Born with $2 in his pocket (one for the bus ride, and one for the jukebox), Padre exemplifies what this business of guitar playing is all about. Aromatherapists the world over have been taking their cues from Padre for over a fortnight, and now it is time once again for the rockworld to heed the word...and that word is Hondo.


TR-808, aka STEVE "TIDY RABBIT" BABBIT

Drums, percussion, channeler of the goofy gods
A founding member of The Lawn Jockeys, Babbit earned his nickname "Steve" as a washboard player for the now defunct folk noir trio "King's and Things". An unusually thrifty vegetarian would notice Babbit's tendency towards cleanliness as noble and just.


DUTCH TREAT

Bass, rhymes and raps
Another founding member of The Jockeys, Dutch never fails to find a way of doing it six ways to Sunday. When not electrocuting the bass, you can usually find him staggering after his lady Regina while fumbling for the keys in his pocket.


ED "LIGHTNIN' BISCUIT" LIGHTNING

Keyboards, guitars, the lost chord, rhythm cape
Why do with one thing what you can wash with eight? This dilema has plauged Eddie Biscuits for years. Now an established cattle baron in his home state of New Mexico, the original Godfather of Latex Paint has come full circle with his ground breaking contributions to cape making and playing. Lightnin' is also a devout Presbytarian and subscribes to "Soldier of Fortune".


BRETT SKYWALKER

Hammond C-3, Fender Rhodes and other keys and synths, bullwhip, BBQ
Lying somewhere between the green, green grass of home and white puffy clouds of scattered moon dust, Brett Skywalker has no problem getting his dry cleaning back on time. An integral part of the patented "Jockey Sound", Skywalker has laid claim to finding the "impossible setting", perfecting it and putting it in a bottle for mass consumption. Hit it and get it.


SLOW POKE EAST

Guitars, lapsteel, upholstery, vocals
Dollars to doughnuts you've probably heard the rolling and tumbling sounds of Slow Poke East somewhere when you've least expected it. Born on a mountain, and raised in a cave, rockin and a rollin is all he craves. East's musical inspiration is a combination of finesse and the possibility that Tom Selleck's stunt double might bring a sack of possums to a cotillion hosted by Merv Griffin.


GRAND MASTA P

Evolutionary Revolutionary, spoons, Old School Pumas
As the purveyor of the hall pass, GMP has yet to let a "sucka sass, or a finger blast". Shaking hands like a Senator possesed is GMP official M.O. Making sure that all is right in an unjust world, GMP is the one and only certified "right hand that occasionally comes from the left". Co-author of the new age self-help book, "Get Up Off Your Fool Ass and Get It Yourself," GMP has aided and abetted thousand's of lives with his wise and noble teachings. P is booked with spoken word engagements until the next legal election in Moraine. The world is at his beck and call.


JOHNNY STRANGE and THE PUNK ROCK PHYSICIST

Production and engineering
The Lawn Jockeys may drive the horse, but it is definitely the team of "The Two Headed Triple Crown" that keeps Secretariat on track. Many have tried, but only two have been able to harness the raw energy and power that is the "Jockey Sound". Hair styling courtesy of "Illusions By Terri".


TONY MIRACLE

Svengali, guru, checkbook
The original "in front" jockey, Miracle has kept an even lower profile than those that he manages. The last known public sighting of Miracle was in Fayeteville, Kentucky while he stood in line at an airstream dealership. Rumored to be currently ensconsed at his compound in Cairo, Ohio. Whatever the price, whatever the cost, Miracle has clout and is not afraid to use it.